The other day, a large company sent me a payroll check. I have never worked for that company. I called the phone number on the check. I got sent into a phone tree. When I finally got to a human being he acted like a human phone tree. He asked me a whole lot of completely irrelevant questions before asking me what I wanted. When I finally got the chance to tell him what I wanted he told me two things.
1) He could not help me
2) The phone number I dialed was for the number crunchers. The real corporation was not the company name that was on the pay check.
I eventually got to the real corporation. I was told once again they they could not help me. I was given the phone number of the payroll types for that corporation.
The payroll types told they couldn't really help me either. They just said to mail the check back. When I pointed out to them that since the check was computer generated that meant I was in a computer somewhere. I wanted out of that computer. They took my phone number and said they would get back to me. It's the next day now and they haven't got back to me yet.
So making sure their employees get paid and making sure that an official government tax document, namely the w-2 gets sent to the correct address is not important to this company....
And thus I survived my loathsome encounter with the telephone tree of terror. Yes, I am mailing back the check today.
By the way, I have not mentioned the true names of payroll company or the parent corporation because I know how that works. The next thing you know there would be a swat team knocking down my door in an attempt to reclaim the check and punish me for crimes committed against the state. But don't worry, I am almost certain the check would burn up from the dozens of flash bang bombs they would toss in my general direction. Then they would sue my corpse for defaming them on the internet.
It's good to be safe at night and Lord knows a well lit city looks kind of pretty at night. But light at night is not good for astronomy and so there have been attempts to fight the light by redesigning light fixtures and such
Now that the only person playing defense on the Dallas Cowboys has been suspended for taking performance enhancing drugs and their star quarterback is one hit away from the end of his career, maybe it's time that the Cowboys join the Texas Rangers in the Lost Season column: Mail it in Boys
Some legal, law abiding American citizen should, under the equal protection clause of the constitution petition the Obama administration and the courts to be declared an honorary illegal alien. Since it is clear that Barack Hussein Obama is tripping over himself to give amnesty to foreign criminals who have broken at least three US laws, some legal American citizen should petition to have the same right to ignore whichever US laws he chooses and to follow any particular law that strikes his fancy, just like illegal aliens do. Look at it this way, surely Obama and Eric Holder would have to grant this--wouldn't it be racist if they didn't