Doomsday: How Will You Spend Your Last Day On Earth?
May 20th 2011 02:20
As for me, I will begin Saturday, May 21st 2011 by drinking tea. Then I may eat a bagel. One of the left over bagels from the office. Perhaps with a honey infused cream cheese shmear.
After that I will go up on a ladder and stain a tall wooden fence for an hour or two.
I will look at my experiments. I cut some rose canes and jammed them into the earth with little preparation. Sure there was a lot of dying but one of those bad boys must have rooted because it is sprouting new leaves.
I will check on my more conventional rose cutting experiments. This is a weekly task. I used some rooting solution and put the cuttings in jars with a little earth and covered each jar with translucent plastic so that the results is like a miniature hot house. Most of these cuttings have sprouted new growth. I will plant them in the front yard after the End Times have come and gone. June 1st seems a good day to plant.
Then I will take a shower.
I will watch a little TV after the shower.
Then I will sit down and blog. Out of deference to God and and all I will save that blog about that cheating on your wife website and that dating a cougar site for after Judgment day. Yeah, I don’t think the good Lord would be down with those postings so I will do them on Sunday instead…
The CDC has declared a Zombie Apocalypse, I could blog about that. Some dude at Cannes has declared himself to be a proud Nazi. I will certainly flush a toilet in his honor but I don’t know that I want to go as far as blogging about him. Perhaps I will render flatulence in his general direction.
At the end of the End of World day, I will have dinner with the wife. And then I will take a shower. And then I will go to bed. I will wake up on 22 May 2011 and perhaps I will discover that 21 May 2011 was the most uneventful day in the history of he world. Let us pray that this is so.
***
Doomsday: How Will You Spend Your Last Day On Earth?
***
In Case Of Rapture, this Blog Will Be Unmanned
Well, if the Good Lord ignores my sins of last week…And my doubts of yesterday (Can God make a stone so heavy he can’t lift it?). And my many indiscretions and impure thoughts of 5 minutes ago…
On second thought, Where’s the Guns and Ammo? I hear Tribulation is gonna be a real bear!!!
The cutest thing I have heard concerning the rapture watch was some atheist saying: Wouldn’t it be funny if the atheists hid from the Christians on 21 May 2011.
Gee atheist, the problem is: How would the Christians know you were hiding? Sorry but they wouldn’t miss you. No one is going to go looking for you. There are not enough of you to miss. Hide if you like atheists but trust me: No one will notice. Be sure to tell everyone on 22 May 2011 that you were hiding out. So we can all look puzzled. It’s kind of like those illegal aliens who decided to punish Americans by going on strike. They wanted to do “A day without a Mexican.” They stopped that stuff quick when they heard people saying things like” I’ve been real, real, extra naughty and I deserve even more punishment. How about a Year? Maybe 10 years? How about you punish us with 20 years of not gracing us with your presence. We have so many people lining up for jobs at McDonald’s that I think there are longer jobs that Americans won’t do.
Are you Rapture Ready?
I know the some atheists, the ones who want to help out are ready for the Rapture. Why I have heard that the Blasphemers have volunteered to save the pets of Believers…for a fee.
Also, some helpful atheists have started a Rapture Relief fund. I know all good Christians will mail a whole penny to help those folks out!
There used to be bumper stickers that read something like “Caution. In case of Rapture, this car will be Unmanned.”
Some hold that believers will be spirited off to heaven.
***
Bummer, I did hear one naysayer trying to spoil my fun. He said that all of this talk of Rapture will hurt the faith when the Rapture does not come.
Darn it you are spoiling some good Doomsday fun!
You are reminding me that I may be having some amusement at the expense at the simple-minded who don’t seem to realize that it means when the End of Days has been prophesied so many times but never happened even once. Sorry dudes but the probability is infinitesimal no matter what anyone says.
I guess I have been sort of poking sticks at the monkey cages. But those monkeys threw poo first!!!
See you on Judgment Day!
***
| 11 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
