Go Elf Yourself Whopper Virgin!
December 22nd 2008 14:57
Twas the night before Xmas and the fat dude was illin'
the reindeer were missing and none knew the villain
so they formed a committee completely of elves
and after creating awards for themselves,
they all sat on down to deliberate
but all that they did was endless debate.
Then a postman came through to get the mail out,
quipped, "What you ought to do is apply for a bail out."
So the elves formed yet another committee
to decide who should go to Washington DC.
It was finally decided to send that jolly old elf
to halls congress they sent Santa Himself!
Santa begged and he pleaded for funds to deliver
a world full of toys "cause I' m the great giver!"
But lawmen had been taken, relieved of their cash
by money mad conmen who took it and dashed.
So congress said "sorry no" to old Saint Nick
and cut poor old Santa's heart to the quick.
When down by the White House their arose such a clatter
Santa went down there to see what was the matter.
And much to his wondering eyes did appear
Dick Cheney, George Bush and the missing reindeer.
What is the meaning of this asked Santa indignant
"Fear not pops" said Bush, " we have no ill intent.
"Your credit was bad, you were in arrears
so the banker repossessed all your reindeer."
"But I am the decider, oh yes, that is true.
So I bought your reindeer to hand over to you."
"I am certainly quite grateful," said Santa," that's true."
"but I can't quite help wondering what's in it for you?"
"Santa," said Dubya as he climbed on his horse
this is only a loan, you understand that of course."
"But what I really need more than pay back you see,
is a major rewrite of my legacy.
A difficult gift even for Santa to give,
but take your time. Take as long as you live."
And with that King George wished all a good night
and rode west on a gallop from the house that was white.
***Twas the Bailout before Christmas***
the reindeer were missing and none knew the villain
so they formed a committee completely of elves
and after creating awards for themselves,
they all sat on down to deliberate
but all that they did was endless debate.
Then a postman came through to get the mail out,
quipped, "What you ought to do is apply for a bail out."
So the elves formed yet another committee
to decide who should go to Washington DC.
It was finally decided to send that jolly old elf
to halls congress they sent Santa Himself!
Santa begged and he pleaded for funds to deliver
a world full of toys "cause I' m the great giver!"
But lawmen had been taken, relieved of their cash
by money mad conmen who took it and dashed.
So congress said "sorry no" to old Saint Nick
and cut poor old Santa's heart to the quick.
When down by the White House their arose such a clatter
Santa went down there to see what was the matter.
And much to his wondering eyes did appear
Dick Cheney, George Bush and the missing reindeer.
What is the meaning of this asked Santa indignant
"Fear not pops" said Bush, " we have no ill intent.
"Your credit was bad, you were in arrears
so the banker repossessed all your reindeer."
"But I am the decider, oh yes, that is true.
So I bought your reindeer to hand over to you."
"I am certainly quite grateful," said Santa," that's true."
"but I can't quite help wondering what's in it for you?"
"Santa," said Dubya as he climbed on his horse
this is only a loan, you understand that of course."
"But what I really need more than pay back you see,
A difficult gift even for Santa to give,
but take your time. Take as long as you live."
And with that King George wished all a good night
and rode west on a gallop from the house that was white.
***Twas the Bailout before Christmas***
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