How to Get the Government to Leave You Alone
September 12th 2011 00:35
Intro: One often hears conservatives and business types say: Get the government off my back! Since they keep saying it, they must not have figured out how to do it. Here are some hints.
Step 1: Get Out!
If you leave the government alone, they will leave you lone. In theory. Go out into the hills or forests and eat rocks and wear bear skins. Or eat bear skins and wear rocks. Whichever floats your boat. Head for the hills and hope that the government does not follow.
Another problem with leaving the government behind is that government is bound and determined not to leave you behind. One reads in the news at least once per month, about some whacko, holed up in his house wherein he was cheerfully hallucinating. Some relative, worried about the fact that Uncle Frank talks to people who aren’t there call the police on him. The police come and out of an abundance of caution and concern, shoot the nut stone, cold dead.
So for whatever reason--you start a campfire in a no campfire zone, you fish in a no fishing zone, you hunt in a no hunting zone, you pick berries in a no berry picking zone—whatever the excuse, it may be that government will not leave you alone.
Step 2: Vote for Them!
The downside is that the moment your man gets to the capitol, they will give him the Kool-aid and he will become an evil blood sucking, brain devouring vampire-zombie-werewolf just like the rest of those treasonous bribed thieves in government.
The alternative is to pick people who are zealots. For instance, pick Tea Party types. The reason why zealots who believe as you do can be a good idea in politics is because when they get into a smoke filled room and the head zombie offers them political plum they can’t refuse, they will say no anyway because what drives them is neither money nor power but an ideal.
Zealots are dangerous in politics because often they will not take half a loaf when sometimes you need to.
Step 3: Vote for you!
If you don’t like the government then become the government. Do everything you saw in step 2 and run for office.
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