I'm Sorry, I Thought It Was Doomsday
February 10th 2012 01:56
Step 1: I am sorry; I thought it was the end of the world. How was I to know it was just the end of the calendar?
It turns out that 21 December 2012 is not the only end of the calendar date that someone is mistaking for doomsday.
There are dates like Feb 29th of any leap year that are also taken for doomsday. You can calculate the day of the week for any given date and that the calculation involves an anchor date known as a doomsday. Feb 29th is such an anchor date and so it is called “doomsday” for any Leap Year in which it appears. Other dates such as 4/4, 8/8 and 12/12 will occur on the same weekday as Feb 29th. For 2012, since Feb 29th occurs on a Wednesday, so does April 4th , August 8th and December 12th. How does the little doomsday help you to calculate the big Doomsday? Well if December 12th is on a Wednesday then so is December 19th. And two days from the 19th is the 21st. So Doomsday is bad Friday. I believe it’s also the solstice and the beginning of winter. Happy Doomsday!
Step 2: The Domesday book.
In merry old England, the crown wanted to know how much to tax people so they performed a survey of all the holdings in England and compiled it in something called the Domesday book.
Step 3: Doomsday book.
A science fiction novel based on the Domesday book that involves time travel and the black plague. Parts of this book are very sad and you should not read it unless you are willing to bawl your eyes out. You will, as the bard said, “rage against the dying of the light.”
Step 4: Doomsday clock.
The Doomsday clock is another one of those things that can be mistaken for doomsday. In reality, in my very own, personal opinion, it is probably just the figment of some communist imagination. Some communist who is trying to destroy capitalism and resurrect the Soviet Union.
No honest or intelligent person will take this clock seriously. In order to be taken seriously it would have to remove all influences from Global Hoaxing and Climate Fraud and to include only influences from Middle Eastern religious extremists. There is after all only one group of people on the planet who say that God would reward them in heaven for blowing up the world with a nuclear bomb. Don’t you think they and they alone should be the measure of how close we are to doomsday? Only America hating commie morons think otherwise.
Step 5: Domsday Village or Domesday Village
Some place near Iden, Sissinghurst, and Mylkehouse Street. There’s been some cockfighting thereabouts.
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