Making it Worse
December 24th 2011 03:16
Some explanations are better left unsaid:
1) I have a wide stance
2) But I like to take showers that way
3) But it wasn’t sexual
4) Depends on what “is” is
5) Read my lips
6) Not when I do it.
7) Not when you do it
8) Not when they do it
9) I only did it once
10) I thought it was legal
11) I thought the answer was “Yes.”
12) I do it all the time
13) They why did you let him do it?
14) I left my wallet at home
15) I thought
16) I thought she did it
17) I thought he did it
18) I thought she was
19) I thought we were
20) I didn’t know
21) Yes, but I didn’t know it counted
22) Yes but I thought it didn’t apply to me
23) I didn’t hear
24) It’s all going to the same place
25) It worked a second ago
26) I already did it
27) No. No I didn’t
28) Yes. Yes I did
29) Why didn’t you tell me that?
30) Why didn’t you tell me that before we started?
31) I didn’t know it was against you religion
32) It’s only a little bit
33) There is only a little dog crap in the ice cream
34) I am almost certain the heat killed it.
35) I am almost certain
36) This usually doesn’t happen to me
37) This always happens to me
38) This always happens
39) What do you mean “why didn’t I tell you?”
40) You didn’t ask
41) It never mattered to you before
42) Oh God.
43) Oh no.
44) Oh crap
45) Don’t take it that way
46) Shrinkage
47) I’m big for my age
48) I’m small for my age
49) I’m old for my age
50) What? Did I say that out loud?
51) Only on Tuesday
52) Only in Kentucky
53) Only to a lawyer
54) Only to a politician
55) It’s my first time
56) It’s my only time
57) It’s my last time
58) Only once
59) Every Time
60) All the Time
61) Only when no one is watching
62) Only when no one will notice
63) Somethings defy explanation
***
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