Terrible Texas Toilet Terror
October 31st 2010 13:54
Fear of public restrooms or of using them in the presence of others is called paruresis or parcopresis, depending on exactly what it is you are afraid of doing.
There are an astonishing list of fears if you ever get into the subject. There is Aichmophobia, which is the fear of sharp pointy objects . Anthophobia: the fear of flowers. Coulrophobia, which is the fear of clowns. Now there is a legitimate fear. Those damn clowns Are scary!
Necrophobia, fear of the dead comes in handy around Halloween time.
Tetraphobia is fear of the number 4. Probably makes it hard to play Tetris. Four like death in some languages.
Mysophobia is fear of germs, contamination or dirt. We will stick with that one. Few things are more disconcerting than being in a public restroom with somone who has a fear of germs. Their aversion to touching anything or looking at anything or anyone can make it difficult to navigate around such a person.
And then there are those who just don’t have the bathroom etiquette down pat. For instance, it is bad form to eat, drink, use your cell phone, or kick anything in the restroom. Who kicks things in the restroom? Why the Terrible Texas Toilet Terror of course. He sure don’t want to touch nothing in no public toilet. It being unsanitary and all. So he flushes the urinal by kicking it…
Speaking of questionable bathroom behavior there is the notion of National Bathroom Reading Week. There is a publication called Uncle Jake’s Bathroom Reader published for just such an occasion…
Using a public bathroom in a college dorm can be a challenging activity. The big clue on this one is find out when they clean it and use the privy just after they clean it.
To wind up matters let’s go over that list of essential powder room don’ts:
On the list of things never to do in the bathroom, eating is number 1.
Never to this is a bathroom
1. Eat in a bathroom
2. Drink in a bathroom
3. Use a cell phone in a bathroom
4. Talk in a bathroom–well at least don’t try to talk to me
5. Cook in a bathroom
6. Have Sex in a bathroom–not even with yourself
Unless you are an elected official from a Red State
7. Fix complicated electronic machinery in a bathroom
8. Sleep in a bathroom
9. Live in a bathroom–unless you are old and can not get up
10. Do your laundry in a bathroom
Dude, if you’re homeless one understands that you need to use the facilities to go above and beyond now and again. I simply request that the proper authorities post signs and indicators so that the uninitiated may know that a wino is washing himself in a sink and you may therefore wish to seek other accommodations whist such festivities ensue.
| 72 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
